My Boyfriend calls her my crazy friend, my mom calls her passionate friend, and my cousin calls her my hilarious friend. Nevertheless Mia is a character of my life, my friend, my secret teller and more so my partner and crime. Reality is I truly love her for every bit of who she is. In fact she is all of those things, funny, crazy, passionate and hilarious. Today was our spa day; she got me something I have been wanting for a while for Christmas and my birthday a one hour long massage. So I was driving to her house late afternoon after a full day of school. The first thing she said is “Oh I can’t wait for a massage, I’m so excited.” I knew exactly what she meant after all my class’s that was exactly what I needed.
So we drive over to Lifetime Fitness my gym and when we walk in were immediately greeted, checked in and offered water. “Mercedes I so wanted to have the massages together so we can talk shit, what else am I suppose to do? I thought they said we can have the massages together?” “You know what Mia I thought they did too.” The lady comes in and asks us to fill out this information front and back. I started to fill out the form and they ask everything from do you have contact lens on to what is the name and phone number of your physician. I started to mark on the paper what part of my body I was filling tension. Mia looks over and says “What you putting down, hell I will just copy any damn thing.” I began to laugh at her because they wanted the tension on her body and then I proceed to copy the places she put down as well. That was us, one in the same but, at the same time not.
After our massages were over we both came out of our rooms and sat in the Zen like waiting room. She immediately began to tell me about her massage, “Did you feel the hot rocks, what hot rocks, I didn’t feel any hot rocks, yeah girl she put some hot stones on me and then set it in my hand. Oh well I didn’t get any hot rocks just hot towels.” “I wish that was a man who gave me that massage, I would have asked him to keep going!” That was Mia, unedited in everyway, but I loved it and was thinking the same. “I told her now I see why men don’t want other men massaging there woman, yeah cause people like me would cheat, oh yeah Mercedes I would cheat on his ass.” All I could think was, yes I could see her doing such things after a great massage. Today was great day and truly just another day in life of Miss Mia, honest until it hurts.
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About Me
- MerCedes
- Buckeye, Arizona, United States
- Four years ago I was asked to write an all about me, I was sixteen years old and thought of my life as a blank canvas. I believed I had deep thoughts and dreamed beyond the horizon, I jump through hoops, ran past dreams, into the arms of me. I depended on air to help me breathe, while I trusted in god to provide that air for me. You tell me I can’t and I show you I can. That’s me, defiant of all odds in the pursuit of greatness. So far I have become the young woman I dreamt of being, only with life’s hardships and too many sufferings that followed me. I always find it interesting how people want you to some up your life in a page or two, when you’ve lived twenty pages; I guess nothing is fully inclusive. My father says that he has forgotten more now than I could know at my age, I presume that’s the point, to write an about me is suppose to be the great highlights of your life, from the many people you’ve known, loved and befriended. I love to think of my life as a blank canvas, a work of art never to finished, always willing, and able to add more. I feel comfortable ending this about me as the last, all about me is a canvas I'll spend a lifetime painting creating and contemplating.
Hey Mercedes! I really enjoyed this one. It's got a few grammatical errors here and there and a few misspelled words, but other than that I thought it was very well-written. I especially loved the way you made Mia's sentences all string together and go on and on. For a moment I was trying to fix the punctuation, but when you called her "unedited" it seemed to add that much depth to her character. Awesome job, I loved it.
ReplyDeleteI liked the blog but right off the bat I found several grammatical errors consisting of awkward sentences, missing comma's, sentence structure, etc. I found myself re-reading several sentences because I didn't understand them or who was saying what during a conversation. However, I thought the story was cute and definitely something my friends and I would do. Nice job :)
ReplyDeleteHey Mercedes,
ReplyDeleteI thought you did a good job in this story painting a picture for the reader. The dialogue was humorous as well. As the previous comments said, there are some technical issues, but i think you can fix it pretty easily. This might tie into my last comment, but at times the story seemed it needed a better flow or rhythm. But that's mainly due to some of the grammatical issues. Good job!